Author Archives: Besa

Oh madness! oh madness!
I am begging,
Someone please stop this madness
I’ve seeing enough.
I can no longer be the witness.
I stand still
But i disgust my soul.

I could not protect
Their only joy
Their only peace
Their only happiness.
My heart numb with all the pains,
My ears deaf from all the cries.

Oh heaven! Oh heaven!
Show mercy on us.
I dare talk about fairness in life
But this innocent souls
For a massacre?
Inhuman it is.

With all forms of vengeance in my heart
But all I could do
Is pray for your mercy.
What a hypocrite?
I told myself,
Maybe to free the guilt
Of not able to do anything.

“A Destitute man with three Sons
Is to be prosperous.
But an opulent man with a daughter is
Rather in misery.”
That’s how they sang
My ancestor, he said.
Oh! how foolish I thought
Demeaning your own mother.
Have they forgotten
How they were born and nurture?

Your mother was once a daughter too.
Indeed all mother was once a daughter.
Man must be awfully desperate for a son.
I wonder why ?
To fight among his brothers or
To carry on the line of descent
What is it?
The former destroys the harmony
Of his own land.
And if it is the latter,
Why can’t a daughter not be one?

To honor a man consciously
But obliquely disregard a woman.
A culture that was normalize from genesis.
A Father with “no Son”
Has “no say” among his brothers.
They belittle him.
Man disregarding man
For not having another man.
“How funny is that? ” I laughed.

There is no doubt,
Human are compelled with preferences
And to choose a son is no sin,
But killing a daughter is.
Of course they kill her not by blood
But rather displaying “the misery” of her existence.
Degrading her virtue and mocking her ability.
And in the fullness of time
“A Father choose to be proud of his son rather than loving his daughter”.
No, they didn’t say out loud
But “the misery” of a father scream loudest.
And all she yearn for
Is to be worthy of her existence.

Besa

I now no longer knows
How to love myself.
For what have I done,
To deserve this miserable pain?
I no longer desire
To be stronger or wiser.
For i deserve my peace and calm.

Written by

Besa kadete.

Your name was known

Until it is not anymore.

But you refused that

And so you choose

To be known again.

But this time for another reason

“The Hideous Man”.

You roar the loudest

But only in your hideous form.

You are two individual

With one face.

You must be weary I thought,

But Elizabeth told me “you are selfish”.

I must agree.

She told me everybody hates

“The Hideous Man.”

But still you choose to Be Hated.

Shaming your beloved.

Elizabeth was right “you are selfish “.

Indulging all of your desires and wants

Not a wise man doers.

Your mind still living in your youth

But your body speaks of an old man.

Your hair in few gray

Old enough to be wise

But a fool you are.

Elizabeth told me,

You are indeed “The Hideous Man”.

Written by

Besa kadete.

And I forgot what I was crying for,

Yet my tears never stop.

And my cheeks hurt no more.

Oh! Mine Elusive man.

How do I begin!

My heart is full and I blame you for it.

This beat, so melodious;

Ah, that magnificent smile

Serve my eyes so well.

My lessen mouth, so insufficient

So ungracious at times.

But you, being the Man.

Shield mine soul,

Oblige to mine happiness.

Oh, The Earth’s creator kind and thoughtful.

A Devine sanction to mine’s life,

To be persist in his blessing .

Oh! Mine Elusive man.

I must be a good human my past lives,

Deserving such of your wholeness.

Or the creator’s slumbering?

However, let me exalt you both

To my only right resolution.

Oh! Mine Elusive man.

Besa kadete

So today I took myself in the street of business and poverty. I saw many hustling in this busy streets and many shopping and eating out with families and friends. I could see all those pretty expensive things through the glass, but I’m not one of them who can afford that, no probs though I can still fill my stomach and that’s good enough.
But on the other hand, there are some people who can’t have a meal three times a day and that’s sad. There lies the poverty. Its sucks right? I mean Life tends to be so unfair sometimes. But that’s not the point.

Anyway, then suddenly I saw a family selling dreamcatcher, a husband, a wife and their three sons.  Looking at their condition, you know what comes in my mind? I thought oh! why would they have three children when they know they are struggling and fighting every day to meet their three meals a day. why??? Then I thought because they don’t have money to buy condom. After all sex is life. Gross??
Why would they spend a penny on some plastic shits just to sacrifice a mouthful of food, when they dont have enough money to buy food for themselves.
But what was I thinking??

Then out of the blue, the middle son was crying, now I obviously don’t know what’s the reason but his father does surely knows why. He took his son and went, it took him five minutes to come back to the spot where his wife and the other two sons were selling.
I saw he bought a small amount of snack for themselves, now I thought aahh the baby must be hungry and asking for food. The baby smilling, looked at the snacks his father has in his hand. He gave them a fare share all three of them, a small piece left in his hand not even sufficient for himself. Now I keep observing him I don’t know why but my heart says “hey girl look at him and learn”, I looked at him as he was trying to put those snack in his mouth but he stopped . I wonder why. I saw His wife was busy talking to someone maybe she was trying to sell something of. He wait for her. Then she turn to him, he make those small piece of snacks into a tiny half again to share with his wife.

Thats when I thought aaahhh, maybe that is “Love”, maybe love truly happens to exists in this world. I had read stories and had seen on my TV screen about love. But I don’t know if it’s some kind of real shits or not.

Everything seems so difficult sometimes when fact is, it is so simple. It is so simple that we actually forgot it exists before our own eyes. What we all need is just a small gesture of kindness and understanding for another person. Like the husband did for his wife. It’s that small snack that show his love for her. But the point here is not just the husband and his wife, it’s about being a human, being a person with a heart. It may be friends, families or an unknown person, I think it will feel good and content to be kind and understanding. Maybe I should do that or maybe we all should do that together.
I don’t know what the world wants right now but I think “Love” is what we all search in silent.

For a moment, I wished I have money that I could get a big snacks for the babies but I hold for a second and realised I am no different, I’m  just like them in a different world.